A cornerstone to eating disorder treatment is addressing shame. For the majority of eating disorder patients, the rules, rigidity and behaviors of an eating disorder serve to cover up underlying, painful negative feelings about one self. Staying preoccupied and busy within the confines of the eating disorder hides the deepest feelings of shame about one’s body and oneself.
Beginning to uncover shame starts with an open and honest discussion of the eating disorder symptoms. Typically, secrecy surrounds the disorder not only because secrecy increases the power of the illness but also because it hides the shame. Speaking frankly about symptoms as part of the illness dispels the initial surface shame that’s paralyzing.
Eventually, eating disorder therapy shifts towards shame not only about body and self but often to other parts of one’s life. These causes are myriad and varied such as lack of emotional support, struggles to find a way through puberty, a dearth of individual recognition to create a sense of self or trauma.
The original causes will need different levels attention depending on the severity of the issue, but the severity does not change the nature of eating disorder treatment. Exposure of the illness and the feelings and experiences underneath can take away the engine that has driven the eating disorder for so long: shame.
We live in a world driven by shame in many ways, especially around body. There is little acceptance of bodies as they are and little admiration for all the types of bodies we as humans have. There is also little respect for the miraculous way our bodies can survive difficult times and thrive when given the chance. Our eyes look for criticisms and flaws, not for joy and gratitude.
The capitalist marketplace does not help. The food industry plies us with addictive foods; the fashion industry floods us with underweight models; the diet industry shames us to always feel fat and unworthy, and the medical industry lures us with magic weight loss drugs while also shaming us to change behaviors.
Our culture is designed to use shame to increase our desire to consume. Economic needs overcome personal well-being time and again.
It’s a large hurdle to overcome. The steps forward entail finding one’s self-esteem and confidence elsewhere. With personal well-being as a bulwark, each of us can try to ward off shame and live as our true selves.
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