The Power of Relational Therapy in Recovery

Therapy focused on tools and techniques, as described in the last post, is a primary mode of treatment at the present moment. Often, it feels as a therapist as if referrals to programmatic treatment such as DBT, CBT, EMDR, IFS et al. are the only appropriate and recommended options for care.

As the world becomes more scheduled and filled with content, our communal focus becomes consumption rather than having the space to create and learn.

Therapy seems to be going in the same direction. All of these targeted therapies have their place, but in the end we are all individual people with our own feelings and experiences. Any steps toward healing must include the space to grow and learn and create a truer sense of who we are and what matters to each one of us.

This type of therapy also has a name: relational or interpersonal therapy. The theory of this kind of work is that creating a safe and real therapeutic relationship in which the goal is to create space for the person to grow and reflect and learn about oneself all while experiencing care, kindness and affection. This therapy can lead to true healing not just of symptoms but of the individual.

For people with eating disorders, this therapy is immensely helpful. People with eating disorders typically have a very powerful negative voice or thoughts in their mind which criticizes and berates them at every turn. They may feign happiness and smile, but most people with eating disorders go through life with the burden of negative thoughts at all moments.

Recovery stops the eating behaviors and then needs to quiet and hopefully disempower these negative thoughts. The tools and techniques mentioned above can be useful for initial steps but won’t be enough to identify and strengthen a true sense of self.

Only a strong and true bond with unconditional support really makes a long-term difference. The therapeutic relationship needs to be real and to feel real so the person knows they have the freedom to grow and learn about themselves and still feel respected, cared for and loved.

I’m a big supporter of all the tools available that can help people manage anxiety, mood regulation and other concrete symptoms. However, I believe that relational therapy is the cornerstone of eating disorder recovery.