The Veneer of Success Hides the Suffering of an Eating Disorder

Many people with eating disorders appear to live relatively normal lives. To the uneducated or ill-informed observer, the limitations of the eating disorder don’t diminish someone’s life considerably.

Except for the most ill, people with eating disorders can maintain careers, relationships, friendships and family. Part of what can be so confusing to many is that the only issue between health and illness is simply eating food regularly through the day.

Although eating appears to be straightforward, nothing is harder for someone with an eating disorder.

The experience of those who are sick is diametrically opposed to how the bystander views the illness. The sick feel as if their entire life has been hijacked. They are able to cobble together a life out of sheer force while constantly battling thoughts and behaviors around food which dominate their internal world. They live in a constant state of self-loathing, rumination about food and misery. Any accomplishments pale in comparison to the suffering.

The behavioral and medical components of the eating disorder are just ramifications of the powerful psychological and emotional toll of the illness.

All the success does not represent the true difficulty of surviving with a chronic eating disorder. In fact, people often feel as if they lose any sense of who they are and instead function as a puppet controlled by the eating disorder thoughts.

Compassion for someone with an eating disorder begins with understanding how powerful the eating disorder is and how hard it is to function with it every day. The more someone understands the daily struggle with the illness, the stronger they feel to fight against the thoughts and behaviors.

In addition, support involves helping someone remember who they are deep down beneath the eating disorder. Since they often lose connection with their true selves, any real relationship in the world helps them remember that there is a real person underneath the illness.

Concrete accomplishments don’t represent steps towards recovery. Escaping the relentless thoughts of an eating disorder entails daily, grueling work, and any help connecting with the deep, meaningful relationships in recovery helps a person keep fighting to get well every day.