The holiday season can be very hard for people in recovery from an eating disorder. They feel pressured to appear more well than they are and to put on a veneer or comfort and calm when the holiday meals elicit anything but that feeling.
Recovery and progress cannot move forward any faster because of a holiday, and the most important decision in anticipation of these days is to stay grounded in what works in recovery.
Practically, the person in recovery needs to follow their meal plan and expectations of the treatment team as a top priority. Often, this plan will mean eating at times others don’t eat or types of food other people may not be eating.
It’s also critical for people to explain to families that the plan for recovery is more important than any family tradition. The goal is not to make this specific holiday better but to pave the way for real recovery in the future.
Moments of seeming normalcy that only hide the severity of the illness perpetuate the lie that things are getting better. Transparency, even if it reveals the difficulties of recovery, is much more honest and promotes progress towards wellness.
Families can focus primarily on compassion and support. The holidays shine a spotlight on togetherness and food, both things people in recovery struggle with. The food is clearly difficult and the time together makes it much harder to hide the eating disorder. This feels very exposing for people fighting to get well. When families show love and support, the environment encourages openness and decreases the urge to hide.
Last, I encourage families to try to celebrate the gains in recovery and recognize how hard the process is. The changes someone makes in a year time might seem small, yet the work and progress lay the groundwork for more and more health and for breadth in one’s life.
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