Eating Disorder Recovery is Grounded in Connection

The last few posts outlined new directions for eating disorder diagnosis and treatment. Conversations between people with eating disorders and the openness and ease of communication using social media open doors to new links between eating disorders and other illnesses and new treatment ideas as well.

However, it bears repeating that the psychological underpinnings of eating disorders are the most important reasons people have so much difficulty getting well.

The various emotional effects of both eating disorder behaviors and thoughts are incredibly powerful and keep people entrenched in their disorder.

Eating disorders can create excitement and also numb feelings; they can cause calming structure or deliberate chaos; they can offer clear moral guidelines for life or offer a lofty but ultimately unattainable goal.

In the end, eating disorders offer a solution to the challenges of connection in our lives. The connection with the eating disorder supplants connection with ourselves, other people, our emotions and our body. The eating disorder stops people from connecting in a true and deep way with others.

Any successful treatment needs to include learning how to connect with oneself and with others as a fundamental antidote to the allure of the eating disorder. Most people with eating disorders have had limited connection in one or all of these forms, and treatment helps them learn about the fundamental human need for connection and how to find it.

Typically, learning about connection starts in therapy. That experience is in part didactic but often it is also experiential through learning about connection through the safe and boundaried relationship in the therapy. The therapist creates a space that is safe, warm, open and validating. There needs to be room for all sorts of experiences and feelings in therapy so the person can learn to be open and accepting of their own emotional experiences and needs.

With these newfound ideas about self-worth, feelings and connection, people with eating disorders can conceive of a world less reliant on the eating disorder to satisfy those emotions.

So even though a broader idea of diagnosis will benefit many people with eating disorders, any recovery has to include profound learning about emotions and connection.