Understanding and Hope Mean Everything for Someone in Eating Disorder Recovery

Many people mistakenly believe that eating disorder recovery is a matter of willpower. If a person can summon enough resolve, gumption and energy, recovery is within their reach.

This assumption may have elements of truth but misses some key parts of getting better from an eating disorder, most importantly the fact that the eating disorder thoughts are very strong, if not overpowering, in that person’s mind. It’s much more complicated to find willpower when one’s own thoughts are determined to remain entrenched in the eating disorder.

Recovery still demands resolve and focus on identifying the eating disorder thoughts. It takes enormous effort to constantly try to disempower those thoughts and demands consistent action to eat at every designated time in a meal plan.

Rather than willpower, recovery requires bravery, persistence and determination. Helpful support in recovery focuses on the daily challenges necessary to get well rather than the simplistic concept of willpower.

Conceptualizing recovery as an ongoing struggle makes clear what the most helpful support can be.

People in recovery find a lot of comfort when someone “gets it.” This is a phrase people often use and that I often hear as well. These two words mean that a person understands the nature of recovery, the constant challenges every single day and the relentless onslaught of eating disorder thoughts which make recovery so hard. Often, knowing someone “gets it” helps people feel less alone and more able to reach out for support. Understanding is incredibly comforting for people in recovery.

Several factors of recovery make people feel hopeless that they can get better. The idea of willpower frequently implies that any failure at any point is a sign things won’t ever improve. The erroneous concept that people can’t recover from eating disorders is a common misconception which demoralizes people trying to get well. It’s too easy to say that someone who doesn’t get better using one type of therapy is treatment resistant. That label reinforces the idea that people can’t get well instead of creativity trying to find the right path to get well.

There is no easy cure for eating disorders. No magic medication, treatment modality or procedure. Recovery is a daily grind to implement changes that will eventually lead to being well. For any long term endeavor like this, support means everything. And the most helpful support is to be understanding of the challenges of getting better and inspire hope that recovery is a realistic goal.