Separating the Forest from the Trees in Eating Disorder Recovery

A colleague and mentor of mine, who has treated people with eating disorders long before I started, said that it’s important to remember that these patients have never really been seen or heard. The experience of therapy that will most help them get better is feeling seen and heard for the first time.

As the eating disorder treatment world expands with residential programs, IOPs, meal supports and all sorts of groups, clinicians need to remember this tenet of recovery.

Patients almost always fell into their eating disorder by accident. A combination of the draw of dieting and weight loss, the accidental discovery that eating disorder symptoms serve a powerful emotional purpose and a genetic predisposition lead people into a cluster of symptoms that takes over their lives.

As the illness grows in mental and behavioral scope, the person finds themselves trapped in a life dictated by the demands and emotional rewards that come from following the eating disorder rules and behaviors.

However, this new world does not allow for the connection, affirmation and love one can find in relationships. The eating disorder serves as the arbiter of daily decisions, the guiding light for what is right and wrong and the ultimate assessment of your value as a person.

We are social people whose health and well being necessitate safe and secure interpersonal attachment. Without the ability to form strong connections, the eating disorder deprives people of not just continued nutritional sustenance but the source of emotional sustenance too.

Therapy is often the first time many patients find someone who sees them. The experience of someone listening to what you have to say, valuing your thoughts and feelings and exploring the true elements of what makes you the individual you is transformational.

Of course, eating disorder treatment must include normalizing meals and snacks, yet the importance of strong emotional bonds combined with the experience of being seen and valued is just as crucial to recovery. With all the new changes in eating disorder treatment, it’s important not to ignore what getting better really means.