Why It’s so Hard to Get Better from an Eating Disorder

There is a transition for everyone with an eating disorder from denial that the disorder is serious to the realization they are trapped and scared. Typically, this moment happens when the person faces the reality that they need to eat more, for any medical or psychological reason, and they just can’t do it. 

The disbelief that they are stuck in a spiral about food and weight and severely limited by a thought process they often see as illogical yet can’t ignore or disobey is terrifying. 

When a program insists they complete their entire meal plan, when family begs them to eat regularly and get well or when a well-meaning friend suggests they drink a milk shake, the answer is always the same: “I can’t do it.” 

There is a stark difference between I don’t want to and I can’t. 

For people without eating disorders, even those focused on food and weight, the psychological barrier to being able to eat something is so foreign as to be absurd. Fear of food and the extremely irrational beliefs of an eating disorder seem not only confusing but at times even delusional to those ignorant of eating disorders. 

However, it’s this break in the reality about food and weight that fuels eating disorders and makes it so hard to get better. The way through is to eat regularly, ignore often very loud thoughts insisting on various forms of disordered behaviors and have faith in others that the eating disorder will fade over time. 

Although that path does work, it requires an enormous amount of trust and perseverance for the person trying to recover. That’s why I often write about the need for a powerful relationship with a clinician, the need for ongoing support and the long road to recovery. 

The clinical field has no magic bullet other than trust and time. It works when people are able to stay the course, and sometimes the road to get well feels too hard to continue. 

Although I hope more successful treatment options arise in the future—and I suspect they will as I have written over the past year—getting better right now remains very challenging. People in recovery need to have faith and keep going forward. They can get better, but it just takes time.