The Antidote to the Three False Beliefs of Eating Disorder Treatment

The three false tenets of eating disorder treatment—blame, “full recovery” and ultimatums—are an unfortunate byproduct of poor clinical decision making that causes more harm than good. The three falsehoods often become foundational beliefs for people with eating disorders and cause significant psychological harm to patients seeking help. As a result, patients need therapy to recognize the beliefs as false and reverse the detrimental effects on their own recovery.

First and foremost, no one ought to blame themselves for an eating disorder. Many factors lead to the start of an eating disorder, and they all have one thing in common: no one chooses to get sick. People surreptitiously fall into disordered behavior like restricting, overexercising, binging or purging and find that the physical and emotional effects of these actions are very powerful. These behaviors may lead to an emotional release, physiological improvement in symptoms or even relief from the effects of an undiagnosed medical issue. Every single person in treatment needs to know the eating disorder is not their fault.

Second, everyone’s path to get well is individualized. I often lay out broad strokes of what recovery looks like when I first meet patients, but those are only general suggestions of the paths people take. There is no right way to get better with one correct end result. Life in recovery still has the ups and downs of anyone’s life but is no longer dominated by the torturous thoughts and behaviors of an eating disorder. The idea of a “full recovery” only places more blame and shame on the person already struggling and doesn’t reflect the reality of getting better.

Last, there is no place for threats in recovery. If clinicians are unsure how to help a patient, it’s the responsibility of the provider to look for help, not to place that onus on the patient for not getting better fast enough.

The through line of these three erroneous beliefs about eating disorder treatment uncovers the consistent message of blame on the patient for having an eating disorder and for not getting better. Treatment focused on blame insists that there is only one way to get better. Either the plan works for you or it’s your fault.

Healing from misguided treatment necessitates a clear message: blame and shame don’t belong in any eating disorder treatment setting. The antidote to this approach of poor care is treatment grounded in compassion, kindness and sincerity.

At the heart of an eating disorder is the internal critical voice telling someone how they are a horrible, despicable person. The message from providers needs to reinforce the opposite so the person knows they are good and instead are sick and need help in order to get well.

It’s not a lot to ask of any provider, yet it’s often hard to find kindness when seeking help for an eating disorder. This clear approach to eating disorder treatment and to the person struggling can go a long way to help people get well.

Ultimatums Don’t Work in Eating Disorder Treatment

Eating disorders are considered difficult to treat. Several factors such as our collective obsession with food and weight, the entrenched nature of eating behavior, disordered or not, the strong connection between eating disorders and identity and the underlying medical issues all create a tangled web once treatment starts that many people call difficult.

As a result, ultimatums either to eat more or go to residential treatment have long been a staple in eating disorder treatment. The premise is that a patient needs a concrete goal to attain with clear consequences, if not punishment, if they fail. Ultimatums end with either the treatment team summarily dropping the patient or the patient complying. Some people see compliance as a good outcome to stabilize nutrition and health but at the expense of autonomy and psychological growth needed to get better from an eating disorder.

Clinicians benefit greatly from ultimatums. They feel as if they are standing up for what is best for the patient and simultaneously holding their ground for the right next step. Clinicians can escape a situation they’re not sure they can handle in a way that is completely accepted in the treatment community. They feel absolved of any responsibility and can fully hold the patient accountable for their decisions.

In my estimation, clinicians benefit greatly from ultimatums. After trying as hard as they believe they can, treatment providers have an easy escape hatch in order to end the therapy unscathed and feel little remorse for the outcome.

Ultimatums give little solace or hope to the people seeking help. There are three clear ways patients suffer when ultimatums are a part of the protocol.

Patients understand that the ultimatum implies that the lack of progress is their own fault due to not trying hard enough. The clear message is that an eating disorder is not an illness but a choice, and true recovery demands the patient just try harder.

Second, patients realize they can’t trust their providers. If the team were on their side, patients would be able to be honest about the strong pull towards eating disorder thoughts and symptoms and how and why it is incredibly difficult to get better. It’s harder to trust a team willing to use the information patients share as part of a threat to stop treatment.

Last, patients learn through an ultimatum that they are truly on their own. More than food or weight, eating disorders provide a failsafe, reliable source of comfort and support. The emotional benefit of the eating disorder thoughts and behaviors provide comfort in ways people can’t. Recovery means learning how to find imperfect comfort elsewhere and understanding how and why relying on people creates a much more fulfilling life. Ultimatums make it clear that providers can’t even provide support so how can anyone else help.

When clinicians feel the urge to use an ultimatum, they need to look inward as to why they are feeling so hopeless and powerless to help the person with an eating disorder. The multitude of layers to an eating disorder are incredibly complex. Any therapy deeply involved in treating someone with an eating disorder will become difficult and even frightening to a provider.

Clinicians can look for outside help, seek second opinions or consultations, dive deeper into the complexity or find medical help to ensure the patient is stable while treatment progresses. Looking to an ultimatum to solve this personal dilemma always prioritizes the provider’s concerns over the patient’s needs.